I haven’t been on tumblr in ages, but I need somewhere to go to talk about my depressing thoughts. Does anyone every feel so disconnected? Half the thoughts running through my head are so basic, life is simply filled with sad cliches.
But yeah I feel disconnected. I cannot think of anyone to call or talk to that would possibly make me feel better. I should pray more I suppose, but maybe waiting for silent answers makes me feel even more hopeless. I’ve had a fantasy for years of having a clone of myself. Narcissistic, I know. But my dream nonetheless. Just an exact replica of myself to talk to, to be best friends with, to date even. I would be perfect for myself and we’d understand each other and never cross the wrong lines in our relationship.
Today that thought crossed my mind and I didn’t even want to see myself. I don’t think I could even connect with my clone anymore. I don’t make eye contact with myself in the mirror anymore. Actually all of the mirrors around my apartment depress me. Most people have a habit of glancing at themselves when they pass a mirror as did I. Lately I’ve been training myself to not glance over, not examine or analyze because I know I’ll just turn my head in shame.
Sharon Tate, photographed in her Paris hotel suite by Jean-Claude Deutsch in October of 1968. The cast on her leg is the result of an accidental injury she sustained when she fell out of bed.
